Hello you lovely people,
Welcome to the second instalment of Girl Talk. I hope you enjoyed last week’s topic of toxic relationships and are excited for this week’s discussion of happiness.
We’re all striving to be happy, and happiness is different for everybody. It’s the feeling you get when you’re spending time with someone you love, it’s the feeling of killing it at work or school and it’s the feeling of being cosied up in bed, binge-watching you’re favourite Netflix series. But it’s also something that can be overcomplicated.
Happiness is in the things that we do every day. There is no on/off switch and it’s definitely not only attainable for just a few of us. It’s our daily habits which can either make us feel miserable or fill our lives with more more joy, more laughs, love and contentment. Happiness is not something you just are, it’s something you create and maintain.
Even though it’s not possible to be happy all the time – regardless of what you see on social media – a lot of us could do with injecting some more happiness into our lives. Which is why today, I want to talk about the 3 small habits that steal our happiness.
DISCLAIMER: This is a long post, so please grab a drink.
“She has such an amazing figure, I wish I looked like that”
“I wish I lived in such a big, beautiful house”
How often is it you find yourself having thoughts similar to these? I’ll admit it, I’ve had these thoughts multiple times a day. I’m a strong believer in comparison being the thief of joy. It’s always been easy to compare yourself to others; friends, family, co-workers, celebrities – pretty much anyone and every one, and it’s become easier so thanks to social media.
You cannot continue to write your own story when you are busy following someone else’s. Every time you compare yourself to someone else, you’re failing to focus on yourself. You look past your own accomplishments and even if you tell yourself your life is “okay”, you’re guessing that someone else’s is better.
Comparing yourself to somebody else will leave you feeling nothing but unfulfilled and discontent. The amount of times I find myself comparing my life to someone else’s is astonishing. But I’m actively trying to break this habit by practicing appreciation. It’s not easy and definitely not something that comes naturally, but it helps me feel a lot more content.
Think about your own achievements and let them inspire you to be the best version of you.
PUTTING PRESSURE ON YOURSELF
It’s good to have goals that you want to achieve and work hard to achieve them, but there is a fine line between pushing yourself and being too hard on yourself. Pressure to be the perfect wife/girlfriend, the perfect mother, the perfect friend – whatever you’re striving to be – is tiring.
We all have goals, both big and small, that we’re working towards, and that’s amazing! You go Glen Coco. But sometimes, things don’t go as planned and life just gets in the way. Though frustrating, it is totally okay if you’re not where you thought you would be a year, a month or even a week ago, that doesn’t mean your life is shit or you’ve failed. It just means that you’re headed in a new and exciting direction instead.
It would be so easy for me to fall down a hole of despair, if I constantly thought about how awful it is that despite being married for two years now, my husband is still not with me. I have to say, somedays that realisation hits me so hard, it feels nearly impossible to be happy. But then I remember, some things just cannot be controlled, no matter how hard I try, and instead focus on everything that is going right.
You’re probably thinking there’s nothing wrong with pushing yourself, but you have to remember, being weighed down by self-imposed pressure could result in an emotional breakdown, a blowout fight with someone close to you or an exhausting burnout. What can you do to avoid this? End unrealistic expectations and stop blaming yourself if something isn’t going to plan. Instead, try focusing on the things that are working out… and take a breather.
WAITING FOR THE PERFECT MOMENT
Is there a such thing as the ‘perfect moment’? Does it really exist or is it just an excuse to put off actually doing things or accepting change?
I don’t believe there is a place for the ‘perfect moment’ IRL. If we keep waiting for it, we’ll never actually get round to living life.
I know so many people who wait for the right time to start living. Waiting till summer to start working out, saving up ‘enough’ to go on their dream holiday or avoiding asking out the person they’ve been crushing on forever because it’s never just the ‘right time’.
So to all of you I ask, when is the right time? Waiting to actualise your dreams is a sure way of ensuring that they remain just that, dreams.
Let’s boycott this entire concept and just do the shit we’ve been planning on doing. It’ll be our online pact – no more ‘I’ll do it another time’ or ‘mm, not right now’. If there’s something you’ve been wanting to do, do it. If it’s a lack of funds holding you back, make a plan first and start working towards saving. Stop spending all your hard-earned dollar on takeout coffees, you know it’s not worth it.
No more ‘nothing’ days. If you can just allow yourself or afford to take one step – big or small – you’re that much closer to making your dream a reality.
It’s 2019, a year of ‘wokeness’ – don’t let negative thoughts and feelings steal your happiness away. More importantly, don’t let the world tell you ‘it’s too late’ or ‘you can’t do that’, it’s not up to anyone else how you do you. Remember, everyone is in their own lane, and you have your own to focus on.